Sometimes I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I'd rather have it in the palm of my hand.

Because after all, you're my wonderwall.

Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Help. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like everyone has this massive hatred towards me all of a sudden, and I really don't know why. Sometimes it's too much to handle. I can only take so much. Please, stop throwing your daggers. My heart has had enough.

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

I realize you don't care anymore. The feelings you used to have aren't there. I ruined it. I hurt you, I know. and I'm so sorry. There are no words I could say to make you understand. No ways to show you how much I really am sorry. But you should know that I still have feelings for you. They aren't the same, but they're just as strong. I hurt you, Glenn. But I hurt myself too. I live with it everyday. The agonizing pain in my chest everytime I think about what I did to you. I thought it would be better by now. I thought maybe I would forget after a while. Or maybe I thought things would work themselves out, so I gave up. Like you gave up. I'm sorry. Don't give up.

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

I hate how you've changed. I can hardly look you in the eye anymore. Your not the same guy I used to know. But I'm still the same girl. I find out everything. You should know that by now. So when were you going to tell me that you get high all the time? And when are you going to tell me why? Does it make it go away? Does it help you forget about me and everything we used to be? Because I've got to tell you, I've tried just about everything to make this throbbing in my heart disappear. But not that. I won't sink that low. I'm better than that. I thought you were too. I know you are better than that.

Because maybe
you're gonna be the one that saves me...

Oh, Nick. I can tell you're trying. You're trying so hard to understand how I'm feeling. You're there for me, no matter what. I tell you things that I know you don't want to hear, and I cry my heart out in front of you over another guy. It must kill you. I'm so sorry. You deserve someone whole enough to give you her entire being. I'm sorry that I can't do that for you. I'm trying, I really am. It's so complicated. I want to tell you everything i'm feeling. I know you would understand. But the problem is, I don't know how to say it. I don't understand why he still gets to me after all this time. I don't understand why all I can feel is pain when I think about him. I don't understand why it's so hard for me NOT to think about him. But you have to know that I love you. I really do. You're the best friend that I've ever had and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me, and everything that you're still doing. We'll get this, sooner or later. Slowly but surely, baby. I'll come around. I'll be whole, and I will be yours. I promise. Please don't give up on me.

And after all
you're my wonderwall.

Sometimes, when you look me in the eyes, I forget. About everything. You take all the hurt away, with just a look. I don't know how you do it, but it keeps me alive. You keep me breathing. You're the reason I get out of bed in the morning. You honestly have no idea what you've done for me, just by listening and letting me cry. It takes maturity to deal with something this complicated, and just the fact that you're trying makes me love you even more. Thank you. So god damn much.

Today was gonna be the day
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

I know I messed everything up with us. I know you changed because of me. But I was just watching out for myself. I'm selfish, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I don't know what's harder; knowing you don't care anymore, or thinking that I care too much. Even after all this time, I can't forget you. Everywhere I go, something is there to remind me. Remind me of you, of us. Our past. It was short, but it was sweet. We'll never get it back. Maybe that's what I'm having a hard time grasping. You were another significant chapter in my life. One that has changed it forever. I don't know if I should thank you, or hate you for that. Maybe both. So thank you Glenn, for everything. For our amazing story, even though there was no happy ending. But I think I found my happy ending. I hope you find yours. You'll always be my thunder.

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Nick. I know this is probably really hard for you to read. I know this whole situation is hard for you. I'm sorry that I put you through this. I really am.

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me
And after an
You're my wonderwall

My heart is broken. But you knew that going in, and wanted it anyway. I think if anyone can fix it, it's you. You once told me not to doubt you. And I won't. Ever. I love you.

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me

You're gonna be the one that saves me.

Have you ever felt like the whole wide world is just spinning out of control? Like everything you've built up is just crumbling down?
Lately, it seems like my life is just one big rollercoaster. Without seatbelts. Like If I take anymore up's and down's, I'm going to fly right off the ride.

Sometimes, honestly...I feel like giving up. I feel like letting go of that rollercoaster, and flying off. I hate feeling like that. It's terrifying, and it disgusts me. I'm stronger than that. Since when do I go down without a fight?

what hurts the most,

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ?em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

--Ten Things I Hate About You"

"A smart girl...

kisses, but doesn't love
listens, but doesn't believe
and leaves, before she is left."

I've realized that all guys are morons. They flirt with us, and steal our hearts, and then when they get what they want (we all know what that is), they treat you like nothing. They don't understand that girls have other needs-not just sexual ones. They don't understand that sometimes, we want them to touch us every where BUT our "privates". Give me a back massage, and don't expect anything in return. Rub my feet without me asking you to. Buy me a god damn flower, for no reason. Look me in the eye and tell me you love me, but only if you're 100% sure that you do. Don't flirt around, and make sure you tell me that I'm the only girl for you. PROVE IT. Don't say you'll do anything for me, unless you're willing to give up everything.

I've also realized that all girls are NEVER satisfied. We could have a guy that gives us the world, but we'd complain because we want the entire universe. You could do all that stuff I said above, and I still wouldn't be happy. I'd find more pointless shit for you to do. Here's a fact: I will always hate your ex. Don't talk about her. And I'll probably even ask you to stop talking TO her. Terrible, I know. I'll be the first to tell you that I'm overly jealous and sometimes I can be irrational. But it shouldn't matter. If you really love me, it won't matter.

I don't have everything figured out. I don't know what I want. Please, just give me to time to find myself again. Is that too much to ask?

I'm having the day from hell.

it was all going so well(before you came)
And you told me you needed space, with a kiss on the side my face (not again)
And not to mention (the tears I shed)
But I should have kicked your (ass instead)
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream

'cause baby everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up, where do I start?
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart.

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME IF I'M OKAY. especially when I'm obviously not. If you don't care enough to talk to me, don't fucking ask. go away. leave me alone.