Blah.

So much is going on, but yet, so little.
You've moved on. My mom said that it would be hard for me when you did...but it's not. I thought maybe I'd have feelings other then the ones i'm feeling. I'm relieved, to tell you the truth. I hope she likes you back, and you two fall in love. Who knows? Maybe she's been waiting for you for the two years I had you. Maybe without knowing it...you were waiting for her too. I hope you're happy, for real. That's all I want is for you to be happy. You're still my best friend. you'll always be my first kiss, my first love, my first everything, just so you know. I truly believe what we had was love, but as we all know, love sometimes doesn't last forever. Maybe we're too young and naiive. Maybe we'll grow up, and fall in love again. But I know I'll never forget you. I hope you never forget me.

Things are better, now. You're talking to Glenn, and you can even look me in the eye again. When you were texting her at lunch, I don't even think you realized that everytime you read what she said you smiled. I think you'd be cute together, honestly. And you'd bring another girl into our big group of testosterone. I won't be so out of place anymore. Maybe she'll make you happy, and change you into the person you've always told me you wanted to be. Maybe she'll inspire you to achieve your dreams, instead of holding you back from them. If there's one thing I want to say to you, it's don't hold back.


Today: I realized how much my boys mean to me. Without any one of them I don't know where I would be. You guys are my best friends, my heroes, my boys. I love you Glenn, Stephan, Ryan, John, Phillip, Pat, Eric, and Antwon.