Oh baby, you got what I need.

I feel like complete shit. My tummy aches, and my bones feel like jelly. I have a headache, and a heartache. I feel him giving up, but we've barely even begun. I thought maybe I was different, but perhaps I'm not. Maybe I'm just another Mary, or Amanda, or Kelsie to him. Maybe you were right. I want to get inside his head. I don't understand what's happening, maybe. But one second, he wants to hang out, and he misses me...but then when I'm with him he makes excuses. I miss him now, too. Even when he's standing right next to me. Maybe I'm just making something small into something big. Maybe I just want more, but I don't know how to get it. I want him to prove it like he said he will. "I'll think of a way." Think. Harder. I need to know that what he says is true. I need to know that he really does "love" me like he says he does. I need to know that it's not me he's holding back from. I need to know what I'm doing wrong. Is it me? Is it him? Is it you?

Today: everything happens for a reason.