I'm alive and I'm free.

who wouldn't wanna be me?

Help me understand. I was with you for two years, and a month. You would think after being so close to a person for that long you would know every single detail about them. But I feel like the person I knew then is long gone. I feel like you walked out of my life long before I walked out of yours. So why did I cry when you said you forgave me? I feel like I should be demanding an apology out of you. For all the times that I tried to walk away and you put on that "i'm so sorry, i love you, i can't lose you...I'll change" act. And I would believe you. I believed if you loved me enough you would stop doing the things that you KNEW hurt me. but it never happened. everything would be okay for a day or two, but then you'd be back to the same old jackass you are now. That's the part I don't understand. How can you be two different people all wrapped in one? For a while you really had me goin. You had me thinkin that you were a great guy. Was that a disguise? or did you just get sick of me and decide to have ME end it. So that you would look like the good guy. You may look like the good guy to everyone else, but not me. I know the real you now. I am sorry. But not for ending it. I'm happy now.
I'm sorry for the other girls that are falling for your innocent front. I'm sorry that you decided a little too late how much i meant to you. I'm sorry that your best friend showed me what he really is. I'm sorry that you saw us fall in love, and didn't try to stop it. I'm sorry that you lied to me. I'm sorry that I lied to you. You don't even know the half of it. The list of things I should tell you is a long one. The list of things I should tell him is longer.

I loved who I thought you were. I love him.
Today: late night conversations with the one you love.
"But you have options."
"I don't need them, that's like you having a porsche and someone asking if you want something else."
"no, thank you."
"exactly."