God damn it.

I have nothing to write about anymore.
I have a boy that occasionally takes my breath away, but then turns around and rips my heart out.
other than that, nothing inspires me.

Life is getting bland, and i hate it. I want the excitment back, and I want the stress to go away.
I want to stop crying myself to sleep. I want him to want me the way he used to. I want him to prove it. I want all the people I used to love to come back. I want my friends back. I want my happiness back. I want a job. I want something to get my mind off of him when I know I'm off his.

I want a bestfriend. One that I can call and talk to all night. One that will listen to my ranting, and actually understand it. One that I'm constantly with, without it bothering anyone. One that won't believe the bullshit, and one that won't give me any. I just want someone to talk to. Someone that won't walk away when I need them the most.

But you know. You can't always get what you want.

Today: My happiness is temporary. I can't seem to keep a hold on it.